I know something is wrong. I have symptoms. I have been in the emergency room and the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit. I know that I am not the record holder for the most mentally ill person whoever lived. I am standing with a few friends on my side. Nobody is against me, but I am not sure if anybody thinks I have a serious condition. Something tells me that I cannot go to work. Someone may be affected worse if I go to work than if I stay home. I am not crazy. Maybe, I am meaner from not feeling well. Faith in God is important. The most important thing is to glorify God. It is not getting better. Getter better is still very important.
Oh how I wish to be well and please everyone who should be pleased. I long to do a good job. I long to be productive. Right now I thought about going to work. Then I realize that a little anger makes my pulse 142 beats per minute. Some more anger makes my pulse 148 BPM. Two less than the danger threshold. I have to stay home. I tried. Maybe not hard, but I tried. I am better off than Job. I do think that I know how he felt. After a little taste, a man knows what the whole pie tastes like. God and I will have a victory. I wonder what it will be.
